|"Reach high for the stars hidden in your soul.|
Dream deep, for every dream procedes the goal."
~P. Vaull Starr
Lets just say that like everything has, what I originally dreamed of getting out of my writing has changed as I have. In fact for every year I've been writing professionally, my dream has changed. When I first started writing I did it for the pure pleasure and escapism from my daily grind. That was my original dream - to find a way to let out my stifled creativity - and believe me it was stifled. Dealing with three kids, a full time physically demanding job and a husband who was just as growl-y as I was due to lack of sleep (we both worked overnights at the time), does not promote creativity. (Unless of course, you count the ways you dreamed of duck taping your children to the ceiling without getting thrown in jail because they got up at 3 am and tried to make themselves breakfast. *shakes head* Aren't kids grand?)
Then two years ago, during my second year of writing, my dream changed again. I lost my job due to downsizing and I was at a lost. So I became more opportunistic. I still loved to write as a way of escaping the daily grind but now I added the need to create better writing to my original dream, so I could sell more books. Of course this was about the same time, I celebrated my first anniversary as a published author and was well into my second year as a published author. Now with no jobs, considering there was no jobs with the market being flooded with 1200 other people in the same boat as me, I decided to look at my writing more as a business - something that could help supplement my unemployment while I was going back to school. I had a goal, it was to reach six hundred dollars in sales a quarter. While that doesn't seem like much for three months of work (it figures out to 200 a month) it was enough to justify the hours I spent in front of the computer hammering away at a story - at least to myself. I'm happy to say that by the end of my second year I fulfilled that dream, so once again it's changed.
Now well into my third year of writing, I'm still conscious of my sales numbers but now I'm more focused on my writing - learning to be a better writer. I want to be able to create a story, a world where the reader won't be able to put down the book and will fall just as madly in love with characters as I have. The need to create something that public loves is a strong motivation. My husband says this a trying to become famous but I say it's giving the reader what they want. So entertaining folks with humorous erotic romances and dark, sultry tales of domination is what I dream of now.
Of course in each every dream I've had about what I accomplish with my writing, is the underlying need to get the demanding voices out of my head - but I know it futile. They're never gonna go completely away or new ones will simply replace the older ones as they fight for dominance in my brain. :D