Okay here's the scoop, I've joined the Spanking Challenge A-Z. The idea is to start with A and make your way through the alphabet, a letter a day. So this is how it will work. I will post a new letter each day...except on Saturdays which is already full with two other weekly posts. By the end of the month, I should reach Z...so why not join me and root me on?
A word of warning however...although it's not necessarily supposed to be sexually themed challenge - just an effort to get me blogging more frequently, Livvy may have other ideas. We all know that rascally muse of mine won't let me get away with posting something mundane or platonic, so don't be surprised if most, if not all my posts have a sexual vibe to them.
With that being said....lets welcome letter P!
I have to actually smile, because I find it quite ironic that the same day at I'm writing P for protocol, my friend and fellow author Joelle Casteel, is writing about Rituals, Routine and Relationships. In her article she talks a bit about her life with her dominant (and see I don't bother with capitalizing either Joelle...lol) and their relationship. In her article she talks some of her routines and rituals in her relationship. It always thrills me when I get to read about people who can actually live the lifestyle I find myself writing so much.
Okay now that I've gotten off topic, lets steer this conversation back to protocol. I recently read an article about Protocol vs Etiquette. Some might think that they are interchangeable, because in resulting action they are very similar. For instance, once upon a time it was a common place courtesy for a husband to order his meal for his wife when they went out. In the same vein, a dominant might select what his submissive eats and when.
While both actions seem similar the motivation behind the actions are different. Quick and dirty, etiquette deals with rules of social behavior, while protocol is in essence rules used for official ceremonies and usually considered a code of conduct.
When talking about protocol there are various levels in BDSM and what level your relationship is at depends upon the agreed terms between the dominant and submissive and the situation at hand.
Low - this is used in situations that are more informal and may have vanilla peeps involved, such as family get togethers. It can be the protocol that used for stay at home nights. Only those familiar with the BDSM might notice subtle clues.
Medium - this is step up from low and may have a few more ritual or routines, but with quite a bit of latitude on the dom's part with the submissive as long as they are respectful in their approach. Kind of think of it as when an insubordinate asks his commanding officer for "permission to speak freely" Even if given the insubordinate realizes they still need to show the officer respect, even in disagreement. The article I read on different levels states that in "medium" level, the subissive is very aware of his/her place in the relationship and gave the example of wearing his/her collar at the table and being able to speak freely to their dominant as long as they are respectful.
High - this is where the submissive's attention is completely and solely focused on their dominant and how they may serve him/her. It has very strict rules that are put in place by the dominant. While it can vary from dominant to dominant, it would not be uncommon for one to be that the sub is to keep his/her eyes lowered at all times or have a certain position he/she is required to assume (aka kneeling at the dominant's feet, or resting their head against the dominant's knee while the dominant sits or stands) This level of protocol is said to be a good way to keep a submissive focused and can help lighten stressful situations.
Below is a snippet of the protocol (aka routine) that two of my characters in Healing Hark, Bryan (the sub) and Hark (the switch) are talking about what will be expected of Hark as he joins Bryan and Diachi's (the dominant) relationship.
Hark stirred and glanced over at him. While his new Sir wasn't always the easiest to read, Bryan was getting better at it. Hark didn’t seem to be panicking, but neither was he jumping for joy. More than anything, he just looked bewildered. “I didn’t notice last night, but is there a ritual or routine Diachi will require of us?
“Of course, but relax, it's easy,” Bryan promised. “Master and I have a very simple routine. I come home, take off my shoes at the door, then find Master. He's usually either in the kitchen getting supper ready, or just coming up from his office in the basement. After giving his welcome home kiss, I usually go and shower while he puts the finishing touches on dinner. Then after dinner we relax in the great room or the garden. Although January in Chicago kind of puts the garden out of the equation.”
Hark nodded. “So shoes, find Diachi, kiss, shower, supper, then relax?”
Bryan gave him a smile. “Pretty much. Every once in a while though, he'll surprise me by wanting a scene. If that's the case, when I come in, there’ll be a manila card waiting on the table with his instructions.”
Hark took a deep breath. “Okay. I think I can do this. One last question, do we do all this together?”
“Do what?” The imp inside of Bryan couldn't resist teasing his Sir.
Hark arched a brow at him. “You know exactly what I mean. The shoes, greeting Sir, and eating are definitely group activities, but what about showering?”
Bryan turned in the seat to face him. “That's up to you. I wouldn't kick you out of my shower, but if you'd feel more comfortable showering alone, I'd understand.” He placed his hand on Hark's thigh. “We can take this as fast or slow as you want.”
Now that I've prattled on protocol and routines, do me a favor an be sure to check out the rest of the peeps. (You can do that by clicking on the graphic on the side bar...lol)
©Dakota Trace All rights reserved. This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, locations, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination, or have been used fictionally. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, locales, or events is entirely coincidental. No portion of this work may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the author.